from "Your Newbie Guide to The Complete SPAC-tacular Concert Experience (2006)" by Fay (fleffer), from Antsmarching.org.
REMEMBER A FEW THINGS
- WATER, lots of water
- A rain poncho (yes, they do come in handy)
- A well hidden camera
- Lots of memory card storage
- Extra batteries for your camera
- A deep purse (or boobs) to conceal items in (or a girl friend willing to do this)
- YOUR TICKETS!!! (don't even ask how often this happens)
- A personal roll of TP
- Hand sanitizer
GUIDELINES TO FOLLOW AT SPAC
1) Blue cups are the new red cups. So be cool, red cups drool.
2) The Duane Rule! If you make an ass of yourself, we are forever allowed to remind you of it via calls, emails, pics, sound clips, movies, jokes, etc. If you get naked, there is a guarantee someone will take pics.
3) Waves are Good! If you get excited/nervous waves or butterflies in your stomach anywhere from 6 to 30 seconds before a show, that's a good thing. If not, you probably enjoy songs like "Angel" and "I Did It"; a little more than the rest of us.
4) The Other TJ Rule! If you are female, and it's your first time in the balcony, you must flash the lawn. Rules are rules.
5) Drinking & Driving! Please don't let friends drink and drive. If you've had too much and your supposed to drive, give the keys to someone sober. If you think that someone's too drunk to drive, say something. Just a reminder that we're all looking out for each other.
6) Meeting new people should be fun. We ALL don't know each other either - there are lots of us that will be meeting for the first time as well. Don't be shy, don't feel like your on the outside looking in. Mingle.
GUIDELINES FOR ATTENDING A DMB SHOW
1) Wooo's: You must "Woo" during Warehouse (you'll know what we mean when it happens). It's tradition, it's fun, and damn it, it makes the song sound better.
2) Tapers: If you are near a taper, please be respectful of their equipment and remember what you say could get caught on their recording. And, NO BEACH BALLS!
3) Chants: Under no circumstances is it acceptable to start a chant for Two Step. It's EXTREMELY annoying. Don't be the Two Step jackass at every show, it's not cool.
4) Song Request: Screaming for your favorite song is for the most part extremely useless. There are the extreme rare occasions that this works, but this is VERY rare. They decide before the show what to play, even for the encore, and they are only going to play a) what they feel like and b) what they have rehearsed. Respect their choices and enjoy them.
5) Dancing: Is acceptable and encouraged! No one will judge or laugh, we all look like hippies when we dance at a show, but we don't care.
6) Jimi Thing: If you smoke, you have to spark one during Jimi Thing. You just do. End of discussion.
7) Scalpers: Generally, patronizing scalpers and ticket brokers is frowned upon. They buy out large lots of tickets, that are then unavailable to us, and then try to sell them way over face value. We try to avoid these ticket resources at all costs; however there are the occasional extreme situations where one must suck it up and pay out the ass to get in. It sucks, but sometimes there are no other choices. Also, whenever you are buying or selling tickets with friends or online, please remember LEGALLY you are only allowed to sell them for the value printed on the front of the ticket.
8) Trading: If you enjoy the show, you'll be pleased to learn that you can probably get it on CD. DMB allows people to record their shows, and then trade them on the Internet. It's a great way to double your collection of DMB for free. But, we DO NOT trade any of the release CDs (studio albums or live releases). This would be copy-right infringement, and that's not cool. DMB is cool enough to let us trade unreleased stuff with no worries, let's respect their right to make money on their tunes.
9) Acronyms: We tent to talk about the band, the songs, and venues in a lot of acronyms that you are probably unfamiliar with. If you don't understand what we're talking about, just ask!
10) Learning the Songs: Most of us have been to at least a handful of these concerts and listen to DMB on regular basis, and therefore have pretty much every song, album, and lyrics memorized (watch how quickly we'll know the name of a song after the first note is played). Obviously we don't expect you to know all this yet, but don't be afraid to make an attempt! No one's gonna laugh, we want you to learn.
11) Have Fun: Most important, just enjoy. If you don't like the music, enjoy the party. If you love the music, cherish the show. Just have a blast!
SPECIAL NOTE: DO NOT MOCK THE OBSESSION!
You are now on our turf. You've entered a parallel universe. "Us crazy hippies" are now the norm. Would you walk into a biker bar and make fun of leather jackets? Didn't think so. If you still don't "get it" by the end of the weekend, that's cool... but respect our sacred time. We don't come to your house and make fun of you. :-P However, if at any point you suddenly make that dramatic change to a crazed fan, and immediately want to go to the concert the following week, and then the next and the next and the next, then let us know! We love to know that other people feel the same and understand us. It makes us happy. And hey - we've probably already got tickets to that next show, and can probably find you one last minute too!
WHAT THE HECK IS AN ANT?
An "ANT" is a member of Antsmarching.org. It's a message board forum for DMB fans to get together, discuss songs, trade tickets & music, plan for tours and meeting up, or just BS while you're at work. This is how we all met each other - online. Some of us have met before at other concerts, some of us are meeting in person for the first time. Antsmarching.org is really a great community of people who share a common interest - DMB! Joining Antsmarching.org is a great way for you to keep in touch with the people you'll meet and to find CD's of the show from the weekend.
